We've grown apart, you and I.
Look, Marine Corps, we need to talk. I don't know exactly how to say this, but I think we need to take a break. Start seeing other people. Live our lives.
Please don't cry. We had some good times, right? Remember the trip we took to southern California in the summer of 2006? And the weeks we spent crisscrossing Germany just a few months later? And how can I forget that magical, whirlwind tour of Iraq and Kuwait in 2007 and 2008? I've missed every major holiday at some point because of you, and I still don't have any regrets.
But I think we both know that we've been hitting a lot of rough patches lately. It's probably healthy for any relationship to have its ups and downs, but the downs have been getting more frequent lately, and I just don't think I'm strong enough for it.
You really don't see the problem? And no, I didn't bring you to this crowded restaurant just so you wouldn't make a scene. Okay, fine, let's go back to the early days of our relationship. You promised to take me to a three-week skydiving course in Georgia. Do you remember that? Because I do. You know how long I've wanted to do that. We've always -- yeah, maybe I am holding a grudge -- we've always talked about taking that trip, and we've come close to actually doing it a couple times, but at the last second you change your mind because you've got other stuff going on and you want to drag me along. I understand that stuff comes up and things change sometimes, but I'm sick of getting my hopes up only to have you crush them into a million little pieces.
And don't think I don't know about what you've been doing behind my back. That's right, I've heard everything. While I'm preparing my mind, body, and soul to go to Afghanistan in a couple weeks, you're preparing to take that trip to Georgia with other people -- while I'm overseas, fighting for you.
But that's not all, Marine Corps. There's the big things like the skydiving trip, and then there's the petty, day-to-day things that just get under my skin. There's so many that I can't even think of them all off the top of my head. Alright, like the way you wake me up every morning at 5:30 and make me run around in black shorts that are so tiny I'd be embarrassed to wear them around my mother. Or how you make me sit through motorcycle safety classes and show me all the horrible ways I could die if I don't wear gloves and a reflective vest, when I don't own a motorcycle and have never even ridden on one. Or the bass-ackwards logic of how a kid that I don't even know can get a DUI and I'll be punished for it because I wasn't there to stop him.
What's that? I don't have it in me to stay with you? You're too good for me? Oh, that's real mature. You're 233 years old, start acting like it. That's fine, go ahead and get your digs in now, because soon you won't be able to hurt me anymore. Oh, I'm being melodramatic? At least I'm not underfunded.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I know, Marine Corps, I know. Look, let's just be honest with each other. We both know that we're not gonna break up for real this time. I just had to get that stuff off my chest. I know we have something special, and I want to keep it that way for as long as we can, but things have got to change, and I can't be the only one changing. I've gotta go now. I'll see you at 0530.
Please don't cry. We had some good times, right? Remember the trip we took to southern California in the summer of 2006? And the weeks we spent crisscrossing Germany just a few months later? And how can I forget that magical, whirlwind tour of Iraq and Kuwait in 2007 and 2008? I've missed every major holiday at some point because of you, and I still don't have any regrets.
But I think we both know that we've been hitting a lot of rough patches lately. It's probably healthy for any relationship to have its ups and downs, but the downs have been getting more frequent lately, and I just don't think I'm strong enough for it.
You really don't see the problem? And no, I didn't bring you to this crowded restaurant just so you wouldn't make a scene. Okay, fine, let's go back to the early days of our relationship. You promised to take me to a three-week skydiving course in Georgia. Do you remember that? Because I do. You know how long I've wanted to do that. We've always -- yeah, maybe I am holding a grudge -- we've always talked about taking that trip, and we've come close to actually doing it a couple times, but at the last second you change your mind because you've got other stuff going on and you want to drag me along. I understand that stuff comes up and things change sometimes, but I'm sick of getting my hopes up only to have you crush them into a million little pieces.
And don't think I don't know about what you've been doing behind my back. That's right, I've heard everything. While I'm preparing my mind, body, and soul to go to Afghanistan in a couple weeks, you're preparing to take that trip to Georgia with other people -- while I'm overseas, fighting for you.
But that's not all, Marine Corps. There's the big things like the skydiving trip, and then there's the petty, day-to-day things that just get under my skin. There's so many that I can't even think of them all off the top of my head. Alright, like the way you wake me up every morning at 5:30 and make me run around in black shorts that are so tiny I'd be embarrassed to wear them around my mother. Or how you make me sit through motorcycle safety classes and show me all the horrible ways I could die if I don't wear gloves and a reflective vest, when I don't own a motorcycle and have never even ridden on one. Or the bass-ackwards logic of how a kid that I don't even know can get a DUI and I'll be punished for it because I wasn't there to stop him.
What's that? I don't have it in me to stay with you? You're too good for me? Oh, that's real mature. You're 233 years old, start acting like it. That's fine, go ahead and get your digs in now, because soon you won't be able to hurt me anymore. Oh, I'm being melodramatic? At least I'm not underfunded.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I know, Marine Corps, I know. Look, let's just be honest with each other. We both know that we're not gonna break up for real this time. I just had to get that stuff off my chest. I know we have something special, and I want to keep it that way for as long as we can, but things have got to change, and I can't be the only one changing. I've gotta go now. I'll see you at 0530.
Labels: My Beloved Corps
posted by Ryan at 4/19/2009
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home